At left: Exhibit A.
Del Monte Ketchup
The fine print on this 1953 ad reads, "You mean a woman can open it? Easily—without a knife blade, a bottle opener, or even a husband!" Seriously?
Dacron Leggs Pants
This isn't just sexist, it's full-on creepy. Like, Hannibal Lecter creepy.
Bell & Howell Projector
"Sabrina demonstrates the world's finest projection equipment ..." reads this Bell & Howell ad from 1959. Get it? "Projection equipment..."
Chase & Sanborn Coffee
We don't know about you, but a little physical assault always gets us in the mood for a hot cup of joe. Bottoms up!
Pitney-Bowes Postage Meter
Um ... next.
Kenwood Chef Food Processor
This ad for Kenwood's Chef food processor launched in 1950, and the best thing we can say about it is at least no one is being spanked or killed.
Van Heusen Ties
Having a woman on her knees serving her husband isn't even the most pathetic part of this ad—it's thinking a man wearing a tie in bed looks cool.
"Keep her where she belongs ..." ? And um, where exactly is that? Alone in a room ... with one shoe?
Taylor Meat Thermometer
"This Taylor Dial Roast Meat Thermometer tells even the newest homemaker when any roast is done the way HE likes it." We're sorry, the joke possibilities here made our heads explode. Next!
Hoover Vacuum Cleaner
In 1950, Christmas must've really sucked.
This Underwood ad succinctly explains why there are no more typewriters today.
After perusing this Hotpoint ad from 1950, we're only surprised that more wives didn't come into the living room brandishing a shotgun.
Plane crashes, overdoses, suicides and other sudden deaths that shook the music world
Just in case you don't remember everything that happened when he was young, wild and free
The actress and author best known as Princess Leia was brilliant, funny, honest and inspiring—often all at once
Classic creatures that still manage to give us the creeps
15 quotes from the rock and roll pioneer who could play the guitar just like ringing a bell
A monster mash-up of songs that are a graveyard smash