Sights for Sore Eyes
Like most everyone over 40, sharks have difficulty seeing anything further than 50 feet away.
We'll both eventually need new sets of teeth.
Sharks roll their eyes into the back of their heads when they attack prey. We do the same while watching the news or whenever our kids ask for money.
Early Bird Specials
We both eat dinner at the same time each day — whenever the hell we want!
Lonesome When You Go
Like us, sharks are perfectly OK with peeing in the ocean.
Eat Prey Love
A great white shark eats an estimated 11 tons of food a year — slightly less than your average 50-year-old man on vacation.
When taking a single bite, sharks are able to generate over 40,000 of pressure, roughly the same amount we put on our kids to hurry up and give us grandchildren.
Bobby Darin Lives!
Also like us, sharks smile whenever they hear "Mack the Knife."
The Shallow End
While at the beach, sharks and most of us in our fifties have been known to go through incredible lengths to camouflage our bodies.
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
We both sometimes have a hard time keeping our heads above water.
Sleeping With the Fishes
Neither can remember the last time they got a good night’s sleep.
Da Nuh ... Da Nuh ... Da Nuh Da Nuh Da Nuh Da Nuh
Without regular feedings, both animals have been known to bite someone’s head off.
As first husband Desi Arnaz wrote at the end of his life, "'I Love Lucy' was never just the title"
Imagine Elvis Presley as Tony in 'West Side Story'
Some lip-locks go down in history
Some of the lines we remember best were never in the screenplay
20 celebrities with sky-high IQs that put them in a league with Stephen Hawking
12 candid quotes from Janis Joplin to mark the 45th anniversary of her death on October 4, 1970
Familiar people, places and events — seen from surprising new vantage points
25 unforgettable movie scenes that get to us every time
Stories behind 'Yesterday'—which topped the charts 50 years ago this week—and nine other classic Beatles songs