All you need is love.
And sex. And maybe food. Love, sex and food. And then maybe a beverage. Love, sex, food and drink. That should just about do it.
This is the face I make when I desperately need a hug.
Where the hell are you, George Clooney?
My imitation of a Keane painting.
(No real squirrels were harmed in the making of this portrait.)
I'm often mistaken for being Jewish.
“Oy vey iz mir.”
I've always been a good listener.
I have no choice with these ears.
Trying to look mysterious here.
But instead I look more like Ming the Merciless.
I've always been shy around the opposite sex.
I may be a bitch, but I'm definitely not stuck up.
My therapist says that I need to love myself before anyone else will love me.
That was money well spent.
There's nothing like curling up with a good magazine.
Don’t tell anyone, but I may have “borrowed” this issue from my shrink’s office.
Listening to "Someday My Prince Will Come" always breaks my heart.
And don’t even get me started on “Kind of Blue.”
Sometimes I like to imagine that I'm Princess Jasmine waiting for my Aladdin to arrive.
Other times I’m just in a Steppenwolf song.
I've had many admirers.
And they all want the same thing.
Kiss me, you fool!
Another one that was all talk, no action.
It was his choice to watch "Lady and the Tramp."
I hope he doesn’t turn out to be gay.
I waited and waited, but he never made his move.
We sniffed each other’s butts and parted as friends.
When I look out my bedroom window, I see life passing me by.
It must be time to adjust my meds again.
Is this the face of a sad girl?
To quote Whitman, “I contain multitudes.”
On my best days, I feel like I'm on top of the world.
Like I can get just about any stick.
I like walking on the beach in the morning.
There’s just something about the ocean that fills me with hope.
I often wonder how my life would've turned out if I knew my mother.
How can you miss someone who you never really knew?
I never knew my father either.
But I’d really like to meet whoever peed here.
Sorry, I need a moment.
Pretending to be coy here, but really just looking at a bug.
Oh, who am I trying to kid? I’m about to lick myself.
Finally, the right meds!
Let’s see how long this lasts.
I'm dreaming about you right now.
You know who you are.
For more mild adventures of Penny the Middle-Aged dog, click here.
30 powerful images of the conflict that defined a generation
Wise guy mothers and fathers are turning their teens’ favorite gadget against them
20 famous women reflect on the pros and cons of getting older
Classic films that brought us iconic looks from Audrey Hepburn's little black dress to Diane Keaton's menswear chic
Even for those of us who were there, it's hard to believe what things cost in the '60s
From Naked Man Orchids to Hooker's Lips, stunning flowers that look like something else