"You're only given one little spark of madness," Robin Williams once said. "You mustn't lose it." He certainly didn't. To get an idea of what that means, you can check out the new HBO documentary "Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind." But first, click though for the slightly mad zingers of a comic genius.
On Heavy Traffic
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"Shakespeare said, 'Kill all the lawyers.' There were no agents then."
"Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'"
"Carpe per diem—seize the check."
"Cricket is baseball on valium."
On a Less Familiar Sport
"I thought lacrosse was what you find at la church."
"We're not laughing at you; we're laughing near you."
On Health Food
"The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material."
"I went to rehab in wine country, just to keep my options open."
"Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money."
On His Home State
"I live in California. I live on God's Etch-A-Sketch. It's crazy."
On Law Enforcement
"In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say, 'Stop, or I'll say stop again!'"
"Freud: 'If it's not one thing, it's your mother.'"
On Doing the Right Thing
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."
On Women in Politics
"If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
"The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev."
On Extrasensory Perception
"If it's the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number?"
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They've got nothing to lose."
"When you create, you get a little endorphin rush. Why do you think Einstein looked like that?"
"Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons."
On the Pain of Separation
"Divorce—from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
"You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you're 18, but by the time you're 80 it's a picket fence."
"Death—to blink for an exceptionally long period of time."
On the Man Who Will Outlive Us All
"We may all be dead and gone. Keith Richards will still be there with five cockroaches. He'll be going, 'I smoked your uncle, did you know that?'"
On His Philosophy
"Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun."
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