I Think, Therefore IM

A father and son text about fathers and sons

I don't know about you, but I've found that texting is the easiest way to talk to my kids these days. The following convo took place a few days ago.

Larry: Yo.

Zach: Yo.

L: So if you're into it, thought it might be fun to talk about Father's Day with you. I mean, who better, right?

Z: Sounds good.

L: Let's start with the obvious: what makes a good dad? Other than being very tall.

Z: Oh it's gonna be one of those interviews. Ummm, lemme think a minute ... you're always fully supporting me, even when I fuck up or when Rob fucks up.

L: What else?

Z: We have similar interests and you always take an interest in the stuff I care about.

L: Would you tell me if i was a bad dad?

Z: Absolutely, but you haven't ever been a bad dad.

L: Dude, it's too early in this story to make me cry.

Z: Like I can't even think of an example when you were a bad dad.

L: Do any of your friends talk shit about their dads?

Z: Not really, especially being in college, we don't really talk about our fathers, you know?

L: I get it. What are some of the good things that you may have learned from me?

Z: The most important one is to always be nice.

L: You're the nicest person in the world!

Z: It's obvious.

L: You're much nicer than me. I can sometimes be a prick. Anything else?

Z: Hmm … learning to cope with being tall, a love and appreciation for music, a strong work ethic.

L: That it?

Z: I can't think of the deep answers you're looking for, but I know I get all my good qualities from you.

L: You know what always cracks me up? The time you guys got me that "#3 Best Dad" T-shirt for Father's Day.

Z: I remember! Great shirt!

L: In your opinion, is Father's Day just a bunch of bullshit?

Z: I respect it and respect fathers everywhere. And that's no bullshit.

L: What's more important, Mother's or Father's Day?

Z: Mother's Day. Easily. Cuz women care much more about being appreciated aka they need attention more than dudes.

L: If you could pick any celebrity to be your dad, who would it be? And don't choose Eminem.

Z: Bryan Cranston!

L: Why?

Z: Well, you could either get Hal from "Malcolm in the Middle" or Walter White from "Breaking Bad." One way or the other, you're learning a lot about life.

L: What's the one thing you inherited from me that you wish you hadn't?

Z: The anxiety! You know, things like me freaking out whenever I get lost while I'm driving.

L: How come I get blamed for that instead of your mom?

Z: I'm sure it's a mix of both. How many more questions? I'm beat.

L: OK, fine. What type of a father will you be?

Z: Depends if I have a boy or girl. But I'm never having a girl. Ever.

L: Do you have a preference?

Z: I don't know, just know I'll never have a girl.

L: Does the idea of being a dad scare you?

Z: Nah, it's too far down the road.

L: You know, there are not too many things I enjoy more than doing this kinda stuff with you.

Z: I'm glad you enjoy it.

L: Last question: Am I gonna see you on Father's Day?

Z: Is it this Sunday?

L: Yep.

Z: Probably not.

L: Thought so.

Tags: family

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